Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.” It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking. That term … Read more
COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more
As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there. Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. She … Read more
In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k. As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more
With a few weeks into the new year, I’ve been talking with a lot of my clients about their goals for 2021. I have often done this with clients at the start of a new year throughout my long career (29 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach, but this year is so very … Read more
In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles. Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them. It’s … Read more
As I continue to see clients online during this “COVID Era” as I call it, I notice patterns of how “my guys” are coping. Of course, dealing with the whole COVID-19 pandemic and its many stressors about the economy, work, housing during quarantine, relationships, and dating manifest in different ways, depending on where you live (where … Read more
In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and coaching (for over 28 years), and more recently specializing more in sex therapy issues, one of the challenges that guys bring to me fairly frequently in asking for help is the dilemma of being in a very good relationship that neither partner wants to leave, … Read more
Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals I’d like to start this article about “discipline” by admitting that I’ve been procrastinating writing it. Which shows exactly why it needs to be written. How many of you have done the same? You think about doing something. You know it would be valuable … Read more
One of the most rewarding parts of my long (28 years!) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach is the variety of guys that I’ve had the pleasure to work with. There is so much variety to their initial issues or challenges that they are presenting to treatment with, and yet often I … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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